There’s Often This Quiet Sense That Life Hasn’t Fully Started Yet
That you’re in-between. Waiting for something to happen that will make things feel more settled, more complete, more like you’ve finally arrived.
Maybe it’s waiting to get married. Or waiting to have kids. Or waiting for your kids to get older so things feel easier. There’s always something just ahead. And it starts to feel like that’s when life will really begin.
The Problem Is… It Keeps Moving
You get to the next stage — and for a moment, it feels like this is what you were waiting for. And then, almost without noticing, your mind shifts again. Now it’s what comes next, what still isn’t where you want it to be, what you need to get to so you can finally feel settled.
So even when your life is moving forward, something in you still feels like it’s not quite there yet.
It Pulls You Out of Where You Actually Are
When you’re always focused on the next stage, it’s hard to be in the one you’re in. You might find yourself going through the motions, missing moments you thought you’d care more about, feeling like time is passing without really landing anywhere.
Not because you don’t care — but because part of you is always somewhere else.
There’s a Reason This Happens
It’s not random. For a lot of people, the “next stage” starts to feel like where things will finally make sense. Where you’ll feel more settled. More certain. More like yourself.
So your mind keeps reaching forward, trying to get there faster. Trying to get you to that place where things will feel better.
But That Sense of Arrival Doesn’t Really Happen That Way
Every stage comes with its own version of uncertainty. Its own challenges. Its own questions. There isn’t a point where everything just clicks into place and stays there.
So if you’re always waiting for that feeling before you let yourself be present — you can end up missing the life that’s already happening.
This Doesn’t Mean You Shouldn’t Want Things
Of course you do. You want your life to grow and move forward. You want things to change. That’s natural.
But there’s a difference between wanting what’s next — and living as if your life hasn’t started yet.
Sometimes It’s About Noticing Where You Are
Not forcing yourself to “be present” in some ideal way. Just noticing: this is where I am right now. This is what my life looks like. This is what’s here, even if it’s not everything I want yet.
There’s something grounding about that. Something that allows things to feel a little more real, a little more settled.
You’re Not Behind
If you’ve been feeling like you’re always waiting for the next stage — it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means something in you is looking for a sense of certainty, or arrival, or relief.
And that’s something we can slow down and understand.
Your life isn’t something that starts later. It’s already happening — even in the in-between. And you don’t have to rush through it to get somewhere else.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
Therapy can be a place to slow this down — to understand what’s driving the sense of always being in-between, and to start feeling more grounded in the life that’s already here.
I’m Rivkie Yifat, LCSW, a therapist in Cedarhurst, NY specializing in anxiety, life transitions, and helping women and young adults feel more present and grounded. I work with clients across Long Island and online throughout New York State. If this resonated, reach out today — I’d love to connect.