You Already Know What to Do. So Why Aren’t You Doing It?
You’ve thought about it. You know what would probably help. You’ve gone over it in your head more than once, maybe many times. And still, not much changes.
So then the question becomes: why can’t I just do it?
Two Parts, Pulling in Opposite Directions
Part of you genuinely wants to move forward. It wants things to feel different, lighter, easier. And another part hesitates. It overthinks. It pulls you back into the same patterns right when you think you’re about to break out of them.
That’s not weakness. That’s a conflict between two parts of you that want different things.
The Part That’s Holding Back Has a Reason
The part of you that keeps hesitating isn’t random, and it isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to protect you. From feeling overwhelmed. From getting it wrong. From ending up somewhere that doesn’t feel safe.
So even when you want to move forward, another part of you isn’t ready to let that happen yet. And until that part feels understood, it tends to hold the line.
So You End Up in a Loop
You push yourself to change. Something resists. You tell yourself to just do it. You overthink it instead. You feel stuck all over again.
Not because you don’t know what to do. But because something in you is holding back for reasons that haven’t been addressed yet.
This Is Where Things Start to Shift
Instead of getting frustrated with yourself for being stuck, it helps to get curious about what’s keeping you there.
What is this part of me trying to protect me from? What feels like too much right now? What would actually change if I moved forward, and is there something about that change that feels threatening?
Those aren’t rhetorical questions. They’re the ones that, when you actually sit with them, start to loosen something.
You’re Not Broken
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means there’s a part of you trying to take care of you, even if it’s doing it in a way that no longer works.
You Don’t Have to Keep Going in Circles
If this feels familiar, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Therapy gives you a space to slow this down, understand what’s going on underneath it, and start to move forward in a way that actually feels possible.
Not by pushing harder. Not by figuring out the right thing to do and forcing yourself to do it. But by getting curious about the part of you that’s been holding back, and understanding what it actually needs.
That’s when stuck starts to become unstuck.
I’m Rivkie Yifat, LCSW, a therapist in Cedarhurst, NY specializing in anxiety and helping women break out of patterns that keep them stuck. I work with women across Long Island and online throughout New York State. If this resonated, reach out today — I’d love to connect.