If you’ve been researching therapy for trauma or anxiety, you’ve probably come across the term IFS. Maybe someone recommended it to you. Maybe you saw it mentioned somewhere and weren’t sure what to make of it.
IFS has a lot of buzz around it right now, and for good reason. It’s one of the most well-researched and effective approaches available for trauma, anxiety, and a range of other struggles. But it can also sound a little mysterious if you’ve never encountered it before.
Here’s a straightforward explanation of what IFS actually is, how it works, and who it tends to help.
What Does IFS Stand For?
IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. It was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz and has become one of the most extensively studied psychotherapy approaches in the world.
The Core Idea: You Are Made of Parts
IFS is based on the idea that the mind is naturally multiple. We all have different “parts,” internal voices, feelings, or patterns that developed at different points in our lives, usually in response to experiences we needed to survive or navigate.
You might recognize some of yours. The inner critic that tells you you’re not doing enough. The people-pleaser that can’t say no even when you’re depleted. The worrier that runs worst-case scenarios on a loop. The part that shuts down or goes numb when things get hard.
In IFS, these aren’t flaws or problems. They’re parts of you that developed for good reasons, usually to protect you from pain. The problem isn’t that these parts exist. The problem is that they’re often still running old strategies that aren’t serving you anymore.
The Role of Self
Alongside all these parts, IFS says there is a core Self, a calm, compassionate, curious center that exists in every person. You might experience it as the part of you that can step back and observe, that feels clear-headed in a moment of crisis, that knows what you actually need even when other voices are louder.
The goal of IFS therapy isn’t to silence or eliminate your parts. It’s to help them feel safe enough to relax, trust your Self, and stop working so hard.
What Does an IFS Session Actually Look Like?
IFS sessions are usually gentle and internally focused. Rather than analyzing your past from the outside, your therapist guides you to turn your attention inward, to notice what you’re feeling, get curious about it, and start to build a relationship with the parts that are carrying pain or running protective patterns.
You might be asked questions like: what do you notice in your body right now? Can you find the part that feels anxious? What is that part afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job?
It can feel a little unusual at first. But most people find that it quickly starts to feel natural, and often deeply moving.
IFS and the Inner Critic
Many women I work with struggle with a loud, relentless inner critic.
In most therapeutic approaches, we try to challenge or reframe the inner critic. IFS takes a different approach. Instead of fighting the critic, we get curious about it. What is this part trying to protect me from? What is it afraid of? What does it need?
When you approach the inner critic with genuine curiosity instead of frustration, something often shifts. Underneath the harsh voice, there’s usually a scared part that’s been working overtime to keep you safe. When that part feels understood, it often softens on its own.
You don’t have to fight yourself to heal.
Who Can IFS Help?
IFS can be helpful for:
- Anxiety and chronic worry
- Trauma and PTSD
- Depression and numbness
- Low self-esteem and the inner critic
- People-pleasing and difficulty with boundaries
- Major life transitions
One of the things I find most meaningful about IFS is that it’s inherently non-pathologizing. There’s no part of you that is broken or bad.
I’m Rivkie Yifat, LCSW, a therapist in Cedarhurst, NY specializing in IFS and anxiety. I work with women across Long Island and online throughout New York State. If you’re curious about whether IFS might be a good fit for you, reach out today — I’d love to connect.